| just a little. |
[November 12 2008 11:25pm] |
Depressed. Lonely. Bummed out. Just a little. All of thee above.
Charles is going home to Brazil, and we pretty much discussed it over lunch today. I honestly didnt think he'd go home, and he doesnt want to. But he has to. We were all giggles during lunch, but after his departure was discussed, I changed, mood-wise. I almost started crying right then and there, but just held off. How can I explain how much I'll miss him? Or how much will I cry when I drop him off at the airport?
What's worse I suppose, is the fact that I think I'll never see him again. I'm pretty sure there'll be the beginning letters, and eventually he'll fade. I dont want him to, and I'll try not to let him as much as I can. But I cant control how much communication he'll want to have, to begin with.
On top of that, I'm uber lonely. At least I feel like it. And as much as I hate writing about being as such, it helps me by writing it out.
Additionally, It's almost the holiday season, as opposed to what mass consumerism is telling me, and I usually get like this around this time.
It's so stupid too. I hate it.
I suppose it has so much to do with the fact that I dated like crazy this year and didnt really hit it off with anyone. Sure, like two of them were all right, but nothing lasted.
meh.
i hate the holidays/this feeling.
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